He is a musician, and when he performs in public, he plays elevator music.

When he goes to a restaurant, he isn’t served until closing time.

His mother recently invited all his friends over for his 6th birthday. He was 47.

Every night his wife calls out a different name. She’s not sleeping around, she just can’t remember his name.

He once stole a beer from a convenience store. The store owner could not identify him in a lineup.

He owns a mid-sized sedan…. painted beige.

Scientists have proven that humans only use 10% their brains. He only uses 2%.

In those pictures on the roller coaster, he’s too busy looking for the camera to remember to pose for the picture.

He saves his sick for when he’s sick.

His wardrobe is organized by color, from off-white to beige.

Statisticians cite him as “the average human male.”

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